Thoughts after 2 years of Blogging.

WordPress has very kindly reminded me that I have now been blogging for two years. That time has flown by. It feels such a small amount that I could hold it in my cupped palms. As it happens, I also read a beautiful post from Chris over at The Renegade Press about his SIX years of blogging yesterday: Epoch. If it hadn’t been for his post, I probably wouldn’t have thought about addressing my own anniversary, and I’m glad I now have an excuse to share his words with all of you.

But like Chris, I am also very reflective of my own blogging journey so far. His words made me both sad and happy simultaneously. Sad because of his posts content and if you have read it you will know enough. Happy because it gave me a kind of excitement that perhaps in another four years I can also look back on my journey and say it has been more than the imaginable.

Recently that’s been very difficult for me. I feel like I’m lagging, like something is just not working. It’s not that I feel entitled to more followers or views or comments, but the lack of these things currently make me feel like I’ve hit my limit. I keep wondering if perhaps this wasn’t meant to be, if I’m lacking some innate talent that draws people in and yells¬†listen.

Did I miss the chance already? Is it too late for me to be better? Is it really going to make me happy?

These thoughts, of course, are completely irrational. I’m already nervous at the thought of publishing the questions I keep repeating to myself. I know I can work harder and I know the value of what I do can only be measured by me. I love this, I love writing, and I don’t want statistics to stop me. The beauty of this little space on the internet is that I am always published and always present. My voice always matters.

Despite these little niggles I am ever so grateful to the people I’ve met here. Two years ago, I knew none of you and now I smile every time your name appears on my screen. I’ve found so many inspiring, talented people that it’s impossible for me not to believe in magic.

So if like Chris, I were to send a message to myself on the brink of entering the blogosphere, I guess I would say “have faith”. If you expect blogging to bring you statistical validation, then you are not expecting what you will really find. Never did I realise that blogging would give me such a heart warming community or such a reason to write words with the intention of somebody¬†feeling them. Even after two years, every single view is extremely exciting. When you view people as numbers it’s hard to imagine them sitting and reading your work. But when I begin to think of two hundred people standing in front of me, it’s baffling!

Have faith. That’s all I can really keep reminding myself.

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