I haven’t made any resolutions as such for the new year, but a little while ago I did vow to stop apologising so much unnecessarily, and came up with a list. As a culture there’s a lot of things I think we apologise for just out of politeness. This year I’d like to consider these things and reserve saying sorry for when it’s more meaningful…
- NOT REPLYING TO MESSAGES INSTANTLY – Sometimes I feel that I’m not being a very good friend because I’m not constantly texting. Moving away does mean I want to make more effort to stay in touch with friends this year, but truthfully I hate feeling like I’m glued to my phone! Of course we all have lives to attend to offline and I’m so proud of my friends for everything they do. Even though we get busy sometimes, we’re all very aware we’re here for each other no matter what.
- LOOKING LESS THAN PUT TOGETHER – For those moments when I greet someone and automatically say ‘sorry I look a mess’. Actually there are days when I didn’t feel like applying make up or wearing my best clothes. Although a lot of my confidence stems from looking my best, I now find a lot more value in my inner beauty. People ultimately don’t fall in love with appearances.
- TAKING A COUPLE OF HOURS TO BE ALONE – This is something I know I need for my own mind to function properly. I’m very much a yes person when it comes to adventure and sometimes overpack my own schedule with socialising. It’s not that I don’t love it, but if I don’t have the time alone my mood can plummet suddenly. Despite worrying that I’m letting people down by going off the grid for a few hours a week, I think this one is vital for maintaining my mindset.
- NEEDING TO EXPRESS THE STRESS. (AND JUST HAVING FEELINGS IN GENERAL!) – For my friends who release huge rants and apologise immediately after. More and more I’m learning that having feelings is OK. Telling people how you feel is OK. In fact, sometimes expressing how you feel makes it a little better. Though I would love to be the excitable, positive, peace-loving version of myself 100% of the time, it doesn’t leave much room for being human.
- TALKING ABOUT THE THINGS I LOVE – Actually this one I’m very good at! And if we’ve had a conversation before you’ll probably know that already. I love seeing people talk about things they’re passionate about. Amongst general chit chat and gossip, it’s refreshing and it makes me sad when people apologise to me for it.
- ASKING QUESTIONS – As my dad would remind me, the only stupid question is a question never asked. Never mind feeling useless and embarrassed. If you need an answer the easiest way to get it is to ask.